Risk being unliked. Tell the truth as you understand it. If you’re a writer, you have a moral obligation to do this. And it is a revolutionary act–truth is always subversive.

(Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird)

The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.

(Albert Camus)

There was a day, not long ago, when the idea of telling the truth or knowing freedom scared the hell out of me because I knew such would be subversive and rebellious; that I would be experienced as subversive and rebellious. That was then.

This is now. Now subversiveness and rebellion are desired qualities; traits I hope consistently define me. And truth and freedom? Non-negotiable.

The process of getting from there to here, from then to now? Long. Arduous. Painful. Fraught with heartache and struggle (with hundreds of blog posts in the midst). But so, so worth it. There’s no turning back.

Playing it safe. Counting the cost. Editing, censoring, shoving me down. That was then. Risking everything. Living out loud. Always choosing desire. This is now.

Telling the truth matters. Freedom matters. Subversiveness and rebellion are hardly just means to their ends; rather powerful and provocative ways of being that make my life more rich, more passionate, more beautiful.

Indeed, there’s no turning back.