I have been pondering the question of healing a lot lately.
A friend and co-worker’s cancer that will never go away; a “life” ahead of unknown quality and tenure. My oldest friend’s breast cancer now “healed” through the monotonous abuse of chemotherapy and radiation; her husband’s battle not being won as he vacillate between a residency in hospitals and rehab centers. My boyfriend’s family friend dying suddenly just days ago; the news of his brother heart-attack just today. Emails I receive from women whose hearts ache in shuddering, nearly earth-stopping ways as they face struggles, challenges, and endless trials. A partisan-split nation that wields words like weapons. Healing feels a distant if not a futile hope; something only for the simple-minded.
But I wonder if perhaps healing requires something far more profound than what our minds can grasp; something to which our hearts must open.
The more you open yourself to being healed, the more you will discover how deep your wounds are…The great challenge is living your wounds through instead of thinking through them…The choice you face constantly is whether you are taking your wounds to your head or your heart. In your head you analyze them, find their causes and consequences, and coin words to speak and write about them. But no final healing is likely to come from that source. You need to let your wounds go down to your heart. Then you can live through them and discover that they will not destroy you. Your heart is greater than your wounds. ~ Henri Nouwen
Your heart is greater than your wounds.
Maybe questions about healing – of relationships, bodies, even nations – are the wrong ones to ask. Maybe instead, this: Will you live from your heart, no matter what this means, looks like, or results in? If Nouwen is right and your heart is greater than your wounds, than healing is not the currency with which you barter and buy; rather, vast compassion, endless faith, enduring hope, and unconditional love.
Your heart is greater than your wounds. This means that your deepest aches, pains, and harms still do not begin to tap the capacity of your heart to bear them. This may be the most unnerving thing you’ve ever heard – or the most delectable taste of healing ever. Maybe both. Either way, you and your heart have strength beyond compare. That thought is healing.