Do you lie?
Your hand raises dramatically to your forehead, a wistful look is cast toward the sky, and with the slightest hint of a drawl I hear you say, “Oh my! How can you say such a thing? No! I don’t lie!”
Thank you, Scarlet. Now. Let’s get to it.
Of course you lie: all the time.
Take heart, you’re not alone.
But just because you’re in good company, hardly means it’s a crowd you should continue to hang with! You’re a trend-setter, a maverick, a renegade, a leader. You’re ready for a truth-telling revolution!
So, out with it!
One quick caveat before starting: I am not advocating raw, uncensored, or insensitive talk. I do NOT believe that everything you think or feel should be spoken or acted upon. Tact is a beautiful thing. So is wisdom. Employ both. Now…back to it.
Name three lies. It’s the other-side of telling your truth.
- I lie to myself and others about being healthy (when I eat irresponsibly and more-often-than-not ignore exercise).
- I lie to myself and others about my self-confidence (when I entertain self-talk – and I mean invite-it-in-and-serve-it-drinks-and-dinner-and-then-offer-it-a-place-to-sleep – that questions my ability, my capacity, my potential, my strength).
- I lie to my daughters about their inherent worth (when I give in to societal messaging about beauty).
Now, here’s the truth on the other side:
- I don’t value myself as I deserve.
- I don’t believe in myself as I should.
- I don’t practice what I preach.
One could say this is unreasonably harsh; that extending oneself kindness and grace is in order. I agree. Which is exactly what naming lies invites. Do you see? There is nothing kind or grace-filled about living in the illusion of truth: convincing myself or others that I’m always healthy, self-confident, and modeling great stuff for my daughters. To do so only perpetuates what I want to believe about myself, actually prevents me from making movement, and in truth just exacerbates feelings of shame and guilt. ‘Hate those!
Growth and change occurs when we step out of illusion and into reality.
It’s in the naming of lies – and the living of truth – that we leap forward in vast, bold, gorgeous strides.
Here are 3 truths:
- You can do this!
- You deserve to live a life that is full of integrity, internal/external alignment, and truth!
- Even the smallest steps lead to bigger ones and eventually, exponential transformation – of you, of your relationships, of your life!
And 1 more: This is hard, risky, sometimes-scary work. It’s also the most profoundly beautiful, god(dess)-like, you-deserve-it stuff you will ever do.
Tell me your lies. There’s beautiful truth on the other side that longs to be heard, seen, and lived.