I woke up this morning to news I did not expect and cannot believe: Donald Trump has won the presidential election.
Given such, I would expect to be spinning and spewing and raging. But unbelievably, I am calm and quiet. I sit here at my desk, in the dark, stunned, and wondering why that is, wondering why I am not in tears, wondering why I am not sinking into immediate (and appropriate) anxiety.
It takes a while, but then it comes to me: I’m listening to something else. Something steady and solid, something strong.
I’m listening to my heart.
And this morning, this day, my heart is loud – louder than my mind can scream. My heart is wise – wiser than all that assaults my sensibilities. My heart holds truth – truer than what the news reports. My heart is strong – stronger than anything and anyone who attempts to defeat it.
True, it is broken, bleeding, and twisted in pain, but still, it beats. And still, always, it loves.
Yes, love is what I feel this morning – the deep, aching kind. For this world, for this nation, for our future. And most of all, yes, most of all, for my daughters – their world, their nation, their future.
My mind cannot, will not make sense of this day nor all the events and choices that conspired to make this morning’s news a reality. But my mind is not what serves me now. Nor fear. Nor anger. (Though yes, grief. Definitely grief.)
My heart is what serves. It can be trusted. It is strong. It will love. And love always trumps fear.